tv taught me how to feel
by graveexcitement
Summary: When you meet your soulmate, a tattoo known as a soulmark appears somewhere on your body. The colors of the mark reflect your soulmate's feelings towards you. Your soulmate is supposed to be on your side no matter what, but sometimes finding your soulmate - or soulmates - creates more problems than it solves. Especially if you're competing for a million dollars. (TDWT AU)
_soulmark, n. a mark, often resembling a tattoo, that appears on the body when one first meets one's soulmate. changes colors to reflect the emotions of one's soulmate towards oneself._

 _soulmark (solid), n. a soulmark which has solidified into one color after one has kissed one's soulmate_.

 _soulmate, n. an individual with whom one has a strong affinity and profound bond, romantic or otherwise. this bond is marked on the skin with a soulmark._

 _Total Drama World Tour, n. the third season of the hit reality tv show Total Drama, featuring seventeen teenage contestants, a high proportion of which are each other's soulmates._

* * *

Sometimes finding your soulmate creates more problems than it solves. Especially if you're competing for a million dollars.

Of course, some people weren't interested in a million dollars. Not if it meant putting up with awful challenges, incessant arguing, and worst of all, _singing_ , for an entire season.

"If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home, because I'm out. Done. I quit!" Duncan announced with a glare.

Gwen gasped. Courtney protested. "Duncan! You can't just leave me! We. Are. Soulmates!"

"Plenty of time to be soulmates that isn't on this _stupid_ show," Duncan replied, not even looking at her as he walked away, towards the plane. Courtney harrumphed. Gwen winced in sympathy - and in no small disappointment.

* * *

"Duncan _is my_ soulmate _. He shouldn't have just - abandoned me like that!" Courtney scowled at the confessional camera. "Ugh, I almost wish our marks weren't solid. Then he'd see how mad I am at him right now!" Her gaze traveled to her right wrist, the one that sported a tasteful brown wristband. "Maybe I'll find my_ other _soulmate while_ Duncan _is gone."_

* * *

 _Gwen stood in the confessional, addressing the camera. "Personally, I'm hoping to do better than I did last season. And I'm also hoping... well, it'd be nice if I could identify my soulmate? Or..." She glanced to her shoulder, then back to the camera. "Soulmates?_

 _"I've got two marks, one on each shoulder... And I guess it_ could _just be one 'symmetrical' mark, but they just seem so different! I mean, the right mark is all shades of blue. Friendship and respect. But the left mark often has this sickly green-gray color, which apparently means disdain! It doesn't make sense for me to have a soulmate who both respects me_ and _disdains me. Not to mention the style of the marks are pretty different too..._

 _"I mean, Duncan's already proof of the possibility of having two soulmates!" She looked down. "Too bad he's already gone..."_

* * *

Some time later, the second challenge well underway, Team Chris was already halfway through weaving their boat, thanks mostly to Sierra. As Team Amazon reached the river, Sierra approached them. "Sorry you guys are so far behind," she said. "Our basket's nearly done already thanks to my speed-weaving!"

Izzy smiled. "Plus you got Owen on your team! Lucky!"

"Didn't you guys _break up_?" Noah pointed out dryly.

She giggled. "Yeah, I mean, it turned out we weren't soulmates after all, which sucked, but we're still great friends! Too bad he's on _your_ team..."

"But you have _Cody_!" Sierra ran over and pulled Cody's head against her chest, to his alarm. "I know Cody, I wish we were on the same team too!"

"Eh-heh, I have to... do something?" With that, Cody fled.

* * *

 _"So I was one of the campers who didn't meet their soulmate on Island," Cody told the confessional camera. "At the time I thought it was great. Meant I could play the field!" He winked, before_ _slumping._ "Please _tell me that wasn't because Sierra's my soulmate. She's like the stalker girlfriend I always thought I wanted... until I got one!" He shuddered. "At least she's on the other team..."_

* * *

"Aw, you guys are so cute together!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Maybe we could swap teams!" Sierra suggested.

"Trade a basket-case for a basket-weaver? Fine!" Heather smirked. "Sierra, you're with us. Izzy, go... play with the boys." She dismissed Izzy with a wave.

"What?!" But despite Alejandro's protests, Chris allowed the team swap.

* * *

" _Why, Heather, why?" Cody moaned._

* * *

"Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun!" Izzy said, jumping towards Team Chris' half-made boat. "Did you hear that, Big O? Oh, and Noah's on your team too! You two are basically my best friends here!"

"Wonderful," Noah muttered, even as Izzy knelt next to him to work on the basket-woven boat.

"You two and Eva, anyways," Izzy continued. "Wish she was here! Then we'd have Team E-Scope again!"

"Yeah," said Noah. "I'm sure we'd have a blast."

* * *

After they had not-won-but-not-quite-lost the Egyptian challenge, Team Chris was sitting in economy class on one side of the plane, Team Victory taking the other side. Tyler was staring forlornly at his soulmate and girlfriend, Lindsay, when he remembered something.

"Hey, Alejandro?" Tyler said.

Alejandro turned to the jock. "Yes, amigo?"

"Okay, I know you're new and all, so I guess you didn't know," Tyler said, "but dude, Lindsay's _my soulmate_. So, uh, can you not flirt with her and stuff?"

Earlier that day, during the tour of the plane, Alejandro had flattered Lindsay, and she had been unable to come up with Tyler's name, instead guessing that his name was _Alejandro_. It was... not Tyler's proudest moment.

Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he said, disbelieving - then, seeing Tyler's anger, he held up a placating hand. "No offense, my friend. I was just... surprised."

* * *

 _"He's her_ soulmate _and she doesn't even remember his name?" Alejandro shook his head. "Tragic. But is it useful?" He considered this for a moment. "Maybe, maybe not."_

* * *

"I will keep that in mind," Alejandro continued. "What about you three," he said, turning to the rest of his team. "Any soulmates I should know about?"

* * *

 _"Okay, so, whoever my soulmate is," Owen told the confessional camera, "I met them on Total Drama Island. I mean, yeah, it seemed like everyone got their marks all at once. Weird, right? I always thought it was weird. No one really noticed cause my marks are on my feet! Like, really, they're all over my feet! Crazy, right?" He laughed._

 _"And I never said anything because whoever my soulmate was, they always seemed mostly neutral?" He looked down. "Like, my mark always just had grays, with some light blue as well. But_ very light _blue. So, kinda friendly, mostly neutral. I always figured, like... maybe they got voted out early in the season? Cause I thought, you know, maybe they didn't get much of a chance to actually form an opinion about me... But uh, the mark never seemed to change much, even during Action? A little bit more light blue, so that was good, but..."_

 _He trailed off, then looked back at the camera, smiling again. "But_ lately _there's been... well, not only a lot of light blue friendship, but some light green fondness too! No gray neutrality at all!" A perplexed expression crossed his face. "I still don't know who they_ are _... but after like 2 years, I feel like I finally have a chance at figuring it out! Woo hoo!" He pumped his fist in the air._

* * *

"Uh, well," Owen said, scratching his head, "I don't exactly know who mine is yet. I mean, I know they were on Total Drama, but..."

"Haha, Izzy doesn't know either!" She pointed eagerly at her neck, which bore her soulmark: an array of angry, harsh lines, which wrapped around her throat before disappearing under her top. Some of the lines were in the blues that signified respect and friendship, but others in the oranges and reds that reflected annoyance and anger.

Knowing Izzy well, Noah wasn't terribly surprised that her soulmate found her irritating. Normally, of course, one's soulmate being irritated by or angry at you was something you wanted to cover up, hide from the world, but Izzy, as always, was the exception to the rule.

For his part, Noah held up his hands to display his colorful mark. "I've got no idea."

Alejandro peered at Noah's hands. "I see. I hope it's not rude of me to ask, but... is there a reason you do not wear gloves? Just curious."

Noah shrugged. "Didn't exactly bring any gloves to the island, considering it was summer," he explained. "Then after I was eliminated, I couldn't be bothered to acquire any. I've just gotten used to it."

* * *

 _"Alejandro's hardly the first one to ask why I don't cover up," Noah said. "Honestly? I've only seen any of the 'negative' colors in my mark once, after that dodgeball game." He rolled his eyes to show what he thought of that experience. "And since then, it's only been neutral, or positive. I just don't have anything to hide." He looked down at his hands, and - briefly - smiled._

* * *

"Ooh, ooh, my turn!" Izzy interjected. "When I finally got home after Action was over, Mom wanted me to start wearing a scarf all the time but I was like _nahhh,_ hiding is boring! The colors are just so much more fun, haha!"

"My mark's on my feet," Owen said, "So it's covered up pretty much all the time. What about you, Al? Do you have a mark?"

Alejandro managed to hide his wince at Owen's use of the hated nickname. "I do not," he said, "although if my experience is anything like yours, I suppose I may have met my soulmate just earlier today."

* * *

 _"So along with being on a team of_ losers, _"_ _Heather said, rolling her eyes, "there's now another obstacle. I noticed something weird earlier. Remember the soulmarks everyone was going crazy about back in season one? Well, now_ I've _got one." She briefly touched her right hip, then forcibly pulled her hand away._

 _"And since I've obviously_ met _all of the other losers on this plane before, the only options are the freaky new girl and, ugh, Alejandro. Obviously, neither are ideal. But guess what: It doesn't matter." She leaned towards the camera. "Here's a tip: in a game like this,_ soulmates _only drag you down._ Courtney _got booted off in season one just for being Duncan's soulmate._ Leshawna _got thrown off her game when she realized Harold was her soulmate. The list goes on._

 _"Soulmates make you vulnerable. And I'm not letting anyone get in the way of my victory. So, starting now, I'm not even going to_ look _at it. It doesn't matter which one of them is my soulmate, because as far as I'm concerned, it might as well not be either of them."_

* * *

Sierra slunk back into the first class cabin, looking dejected. She slumped into her seat, next to Cody. "Bad news," she said. "I checked in the bathroom that doesn't have a camera, and I don't have a mark. We're not soulmates."

Cody breathed out a sigh of relief.

* * *

 _"Thank god," he said, sitting in the confessional. "I was really worried there. Maybe now she'll stop being weirdly obsessed with me?"_

* * *

"But!" Sierra said, abruptly brightening up. " _You_ don't have a soulmate either! That means that, as long as we're both unattached..." She smiled widely. "We can be _together forever_."

* * *

 _"Nope, never mind. Still obsessed."_

* * *

"Um..." Cody said nervously. "How do you know I don't have a soulmate? That is - what makes you think I _don't_ have one, huh?"

"Oh, _Cody_. That was easy. If you had one, you would've asked someone for a kiss by now. Specifically with the line, 'so, heh, you wanna check and see if we're, you know, soulmates?'" Her imitation of Cody was eerily accurate.

Cody sighed. There goes that plan down the drain, he thought.

* * *

 _"All I have to do is make sure Cody never meets anyone new ever again, and there'll never be a reason for us to be apart," Sierra told the camera. "How hard can that be?"_

* * *

"It really sucks that Duncan just left you like that," Gwen said. "I mean, he's your soulmate!"

"I know, right?" Courtney scowled for a moment, then slumped in her chair. "Oh, I hope he's okay..."

"I'm sure he's all right," Gwen soothed. "I mean, at least he's not flying around in this deathtrap."

"There is that..."

* * *

 _Alejandro stood in front of the camera. "My prediction has come true," he said. "Namely, some time in the last day I seem to have acquired, at long last... my_ soulmark _." He gestured towards his left hip. "Luckily, it's somewhere I'll have no problem keeping covered up. Of course, the real question is who it belongs to. Not that I plan on letting my soulmate distract me, oh no," he chuckled._

 _"But identifying my soulmate is still important. They may have strategic value. As it is, there are some people I can rule out. On my team, Izzy and Noah both already have colorful marks, and apparently Tyler's soulmate is Lindsay. Owen says he has a mark as well, which is good. I_ refuse _to imagine my soulmate being that butter donkey." He shuddered._

 _"No, likely it's not anyone on my team._ Gracias a Dios _. Well, we shall see. As my soulmate and I spend more time around each other - as we must, in a show like this - their emotions towards me will become clear. And that, no doubt, will allow me to identify them." He frowned. "Unless it is one of the two who have already exited the plane. I suppose that is possible as well, though I must admit I do not find either of them particularly appealing. Ah, but that Duncan fellow - he already had two soulmarks, one of which was solid. Surely he could not have a third soulmate as well?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "For that matter, I suppose I could be anyone's 'second soulmate'." He shuddered._

 _"Best to keep things simple for now. If I hear of anyone having suddenly gained a second mark, I can investigate that possibility at that time. Until then, I will not waste too much time speculating. Best to sit back and observe. See what is revealed, in due time. But no matter which of them is my soulmate... they're all going down." Alejandro smirked._

* * *

Notes;

 _tv taught me how to feel  
_ _now real life has no_ _appeal_  
— Marina and the Diamonds, "Oh No!"

So, turns out I'm still Total Drama trash, because I love garbage and can't let things go. Further chapters will be slow to come, because I'm pretty unreliable.

Also, shout-out to arysa13's "It Should've Been You," which is awesome and partially inspired this fic.


End file.
